Control Freak

Day 20 of 365:

 

You know what?  I am.  I am a control freak.  Absolutely.  I even have a wine charm that says so.  😉

I stopped trying to deny it years ago.   And I’m not ashamed.  I can’t help being right all the time.  I can’t help it if I know what’s best, what’s right…what works.

This personality trait is never more prevalent than in those situations where a camera is turned upon me.

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I am a photographer.  Photographers take the pictures, we aren’t in them.

~sheesh~

I ruin every single family or group photograph I am in.  True story!

No – it’s not entirely because of my awkward smile.  It’s because I am the one that isn’t smiling.  I always seem to be paying attention to something no one else in the photograph seems to see.

Here is a snippet of the things that I am too worried about to relax and smile as the camera click-click-clicks away:

  • I am concerned with the lighting.
  • The order in which the group has been arranged.  The short people should be in front, dammit!
  • The way the designated photographer is holding the camera.  Oh come on, you’re not Irving Penn.
  • The flash that is pointing directly at us.  (one of my BIGGEST pet-peeves.  Ever.)  “Do NOT point the flash directly at us!  We will all have hideous RED EYES!”
  • Whether or not we are standing in front of a window, or mirror – again, because the freaking flash is pointing right at us.  Hello??? Ever hear of light reflection????

I am the one that is smirking, scowling or looking downright shocked…or worried.  I always look horribly uptight.

Here’s the thing, cameras don’t lie: I am uptight.

And I know how annoying I can be.  I am well aware of the fact that no one understands my protests.  Also, I am too polite to yell at my friends and family.  So I keep all those control issues to myself.

Oh, the inner turmoil this causes!

Sometimes, to hide my discomfort with the situation, I will make silly, goofy faces at the camera.

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This is a vain attempt to hide the fact that my jaw wants to clench.  That my skin is crawling.  That I want to rip remove the camera from the operator’s hands and take all the pictures for them:  “here, let me handle this, okay?”

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Sometimes, purely because I just can no longer handle not being in control of the situation, I will simply turn and run a way from the perpetrator.

Problem solved….

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And there you have it: confessions of a chronic, hopeless control freak….

…this may be why I went into to photography in the first place.  

Ya think???!!! 

 

Can’t Stand Me

 

-Janice 🙂

 

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Saturday: Vintages{1}

(Simple, Single Image On Saturday And Sunday)

Vintage Camera
Vintage Camera

Old Camera, window light.

Cameras have a very prominent presence in my house.  Both The Hubby and I have a great deal of respect those of the vintage designation, and cherish our collection very much.  This Yashica Mat, with its cool leather case, is one of my favourites.

Here We Go Again

– with the complaining – I know.  How many times have I blogged about not liking this particular day of the week?

It’s just that Monday has GOT to be the most Un-inspiring day for me.

What is up with you, Monday?  Why do you leave me so utterly devoid of anything that remotely resembles creativity??  Why???

I haven’t had a bad day.  Actually, my day was very productive on most fronts.

I went for a run this morning.

I cleaned the house when I got home from the gym.

I managed to check a lot of items off my to-do list at work.

I cooked a fantastic roast chicken dinner.

I called my Mom and one of my sisters, and had lengthy, meaningful conversations with both.

But a blog post?  Nope.  Not happening.

A dozen or so ideas are floating around in my head for today’s writing material.  But I can’t seem to make any of these ideas jump out of my brain and manifest themselves into words on my screen.

I haven’t even so much as picked up my camera today.

I don’t even want to hit publish on this.

Seriously.

I am officially declaring war on Monday.

Who’s with me?

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(No, I did not take this pic today.  That would have involved creativity.  I took this back in November – on a Monday night when I was trying to write.  Ripley, my dog, was – very easily – distracting me by trying to crawl up into my lap.  It was so much easier to pay attention to her than it was to my novel.)

🙂